Swami Vivekananda                           

He loved to tell the story of a Christian missionary who was sent to preach to the

cannibals. The new arrival proceeded to the chief of the tribe and asked him, 'Well, how did you like my predecessor?' The cannibal replied, smacking his lips, 'Simply delicious!'

Another was the story of a 'darky' clergyman who, while explaining the creation,

shouted to his congregation: 'You see, God was a-makin' Adam, and He was a-makin' him out o' mud. And when He got him made, He stuck him up agin a fence to dry. And den—' 'Hold on, dar, preacher!' suddenly cried out a learned listener. 'What's dat about dis 'ere fence? Who's made dis fence?' The preacher replied sharply: 'Now you listen 'ere, Sam Jones. Don't you be askin' sich questions. You'll be a-smashin' up all theology!'

I read somewhere in a funny book that an American vessel was being foundered in the sea; they were desperate and as a last solace wanted some religious service being done. There was 'Uncle Josh' on board who was an elder in the Presbyterian Church. They all began to entreat, 'Do something religious, Uncle Josh! We are all going to die.' Uncle Joseph took his hat in his hand and took up a collection on the spot!

(CW, 8:342)

A certain young couple had everything favourable to make them man and wife except that the bride's father was determined not to give his daughter to anyone who had not a million. The young people were in despair when a clever matchmaker came to the rescue. He asked the bridegroom whether he was willing to part with his nose on payment of a million — which he refused. The matchmaker then swore before the bride's father that the bridegroom had in store goods worth several millions, and the match was completed. Don't you take like millions.

(To Miss. Mary Hale. 2nd March 1898)